Monday, December 12, 2005

Ten Reasons to Hate Notre Dame


This is by Mark Zais, a guest YBW contributor, enjoy.
-yb

Notre Dame is the devil. I know that it sounds harsh, but there are some of us who believe that Notre Dame signifies everything that is wrong about college football…big money, media bias, and the BCS system.

For years, football fans have been forced to hear about the rich tradition of Notre Dame and made to feel guilty for finding reasons not to like the Fighting Irish. From the constant barrage of praise and adoration given by the media and their fans, one almost feels blasphemous or sacrilegious in rooting against them. Listed below are some of the top reasons why I believe that Notre Dame football is undeserving of its sanctimonious status and should be exposed as what they really are….nothing more than an elitist football factory that is far from the image of football purity and righteousness they try to project. (These ten are in no particular order…bad is bad)

1. NBC. I am tired of hearing about the “obstacles” Notre Dame has with recruiting due to their high admissions and academic standards (I will specifically address those standards later as they are an issue unto themselves). If they hadn’t already, Notre Dame established itself as a full-fledged football factory when they signed the contract to air all their home games on NBC despite the opponent. By prostituting themselves to football and subjecting the public to perennial matchups against the likes of Navy and Stanford, Notre Dame secured its elitist image and largest recruiting base of any school. It’s not out of jealously that I find this disturbing but more because when hard times hit Notre Dame, they immediately point to their insurmountable recruiting obstacles. Give me a break. I don’t blame other schools for being jealous ,though; there is a distinct disadvantage when one school rakes in millions and millions of guaranteed dollars each year no matter how good or bad they are. For everyone else, gaining more money is performance based and means making it to a good bowl game. Plus, Notre Dame rakes in bowl money and doesn’t have to share it with other conference members…but that will be discussed later also. Probably the most glaring and insulting display of arrogance between NBC and Notre Dame is presented in the telecasts themselves. Should you by chance be forced to watch NBC because your favorite team is playing Notre Dame or you simply hate them enough to watch and hope for their defeat, NBC goes ahead and makes the assumption that we aren’t interested in any other games across the country. While every other telecast has frequent updates or a scoreboard streamer at the bottom of the screen, NBC entices viewers with one or two random score updates in a 3 hour period. Why would you care about what any other teams are doing when you are watching Notre Dame?

2. Lou Holtz. I have nothing against the man personally. In fact, I think he would be an interesting guy to sit and talk to at a bar. I also like his quotes, motivation techniques, and ability to always paint a dire scenario of impending defeat whether he is playing USC or Toledo. That doesn’t mean I would invite him to be a guest speaker at an ethics conference. The reason Lou Holtz is on my list is because his tenure at Notre Dame symbolizes the nationwide bias towards the success and sanctimony of Notre Dame. History shows us that throughout Lou Holtz’s career he has left a wake of scandal and probation, always managing to get out of dodge one step ahead of sanctions hitting his school. Every school that has had Lou Holtz as a head coach (NC State, Minnesota, Arkansas, Notre Dame, and South Carolina) has been hit with probation in sequence with his departure. A common theme in the probation verbage has been that his programs have a “lack of institutional control”. The poignant issue that I have with all these sanctions is that of all the Lou Holtz schools found to have violated NCAA rules only one was subsequently given an “informal probation”, hence giving them the right to address the issues internally. Which school was that?...that’s right, Notre Dame! How convenient. If anyone believes that Lou Holtz sandwiched a spell of integrity at Notre Dame with a career of cheating, they are either ignorant or a Notre Dame fan. A book, “Under the Tarnished Dome”, has even been written about this period of Notre Dame tradition, which includes one National Championship. In this book, the authors and ex-players make allegations of prevalent steroid use and illegal loans to players. Oh, how pure Notre dame is. There is no difference between Notre Dame and any other football factory, to include Florida State, Oklahoma, USC, or Texas. The only difference is that fraudulent Notre Dame portrays itself as being above the fray. Thank you Lou Holtz for showing us the light.

3. Touchdown Jesus. Nothing highlights the arrogance of Notre Dame football more than Touchdown Jesus. Relishing an image of Jesus overlooking the football stadium is synonymous to the whole football team kneeling in prayer in the end zone and thanking God for allowing them to score a touchdown. Only Notre Dame fans could think that with all the suffering and atrocities in the world, Jesus cares whether or not Notre Dame wins. It is because of this type of blasphemous arrogance that more Notre Dame fans pray for victory than any one else.

4. Academic Standards. I am tired of having Notre Dame’s academic standards shoved down my throat. Notre Dame’s academic standards are used as excuses for their poor performance and as an example of their “purity” in relation to other programs. I don’t buy it for one second. Notre Dame is like any other school….if you’re good enough to help the team, you’re good enough for Notre Dame. Let me rewind back to the days of my man Lou Holtz who said his biggest recruiting regret was not being able to land Randy Moss who chose Florida State instead of Notre Dame. Lou said Moss was the best high school player he has ever seen. Randy Moss was accepted to Notre Dame and it wasn’t due to his sparkling academic record or his admirable high school arrest record. I have no doubt that had he been hurdling defensive backs while wearing the gold helmet, he would have managed to pass his classes. Just as recently as three years ago, the battle for arguably the best high school player in the country, Lorenzo Booker, once again came down to Notre Dame and Florida State. (He chose Florida State). My point is that the Notre Dames and Florida States of the football world are fishing from the same pond and keeping any big fish they catch. As an exclamation point, the list of academic heavyweights that played for Notre Dame include the likes of Tony Rice, Chris Zorich, Ron Powlus, Demetrious DuBose, Ricky Waters, and Jerome Bettis. I don’t think any of these guys were on their high school brain bowl team.

5a. Media Bias. The outright media bias due to an NBC contract has already been described and isn't even needed to substantiate this issue. Luckily there are standards barring pornographic material on TV or we would be subjected to more than the metaphoric blow jobs by network hosts and commentators. This gross bias extends all the way to the BCS selection committee...but we'll address that later. All the TV networks, most notably ESPN (and excluding NBC), seem to have a reel of Notre Dame montages and cover stories within a button push away. Once they string together three wins in a row, we are forced to watch piece after piece describing the resurgence of this "rich and proud program". The media trips all over other programs that do well while rushing to praise Notre Dame. One example is Alabama which had the same record as Notre Dame this year despite being 5-6 last year and having one of the hardest strengths of schedule in the nation (Notre Dame only beat 3 teams with winning records). How come Mike Shula didn't get any of the praise that Charlie Weis received? I wonder. This is a good segway to my next reason.

5b. Charlie Weiss. Charlie Weis...you are fat. Actually you are morbidly obese. I liked Tyrone Willingham, but for anti-domers like myself, the silver lining in his firing is that we no longer have to caveat our Notre Dame hate rhetoric with the phrase "but I wish Tyrone Willingham well because he seems like a good guy." I guess Notre Dame found the white man for the job….oops, I meant right man.

6. 1947: Army vs. Notre Dame. These two undefeated teams met head to head and ended their game in a 0-0 tie. As a result, Notre Dame was declared by the media voters as sole national champions. I present this as evidence of Notre Dame's "rich and proud" tradition of receiving media bias.

7. 1966: Notre Dame 9-0-1. Once again, Notre Dame raises the championship banner with a little help from the media. After tying Michigan State and finishing with a 9-0-1 record, Notre Dame declines all bowl offers, thus ending their season. Undefeated Alabama goes on the paste Nebraska 34-7 in the Sugar Bowl and finishes 11-0. The AP poll subsequently awards the national championship to Notre Dame. The bias and shameless glory continues.

8. Subway Alumni. These are the biggest bandwagon jumpers of all time. It takes courage to pick a perennial powerhouse like Notre Dame as your favorite team. No team has more fans with absolutely no connection to the school other than watching them on TV. Not surprisingly, atleast 75% of the Notre Dame subway alumni are also Yankees fans. The Notre Dame fan is like the guy who pretends to be your best friend until you hit hard times, then he becomes best friends with your buddy who won the lottery. Beware of the Notre Dame subway alumni, they are social leeches. The biggest percentages of subway alumni can be found in Pennsylvania and New Jersey. Hey Tony, what about Rutgers? Oh yeah, they suck. I'm sure you'll be wearing scarlet if they ever make it to a BCS bowl.


While I'm at it, let's talk about the fans who like Notre Dame because they are Catholic. They are another species of the subway alumni. Once again, they make the ultimate sacrifice in the name of their religion. If being Catholic is all it takes, how come you guys don't root for Boston College, Providence, or Xavier? Even if religion was an acceptable reason to root for a college football team, do you really think that even a quarter of the Notre Dame football players are Catholic? I'm sure Jerome Bettis envisioned blasting through a line of salivating Protestants as he nestled the cradled hopes of persecuted Catholics in his arm. Thank God (and Touchdown Jesus) for allowing our religion to win the national championship again!

9. Jeff Smardzija. Jeff, you need a haircut. If your hair extends beyond the base of your football helmet, it classifies as a mullet. The only exceptions to this rule are Samoans and dudes with dreadlocks.

10. BCS. I save the biggest injustice in college football for last. The BCS might as well publish a memo that states "We want Notre Dame to play in the BCS and will secure every means possible to make sure it happens." The current BCS contract essentially dictates that Notre Dame can play in a BCS game as long as they win 8 games. I thought the BCS was instituted in order to make a distinct and fair process for selecting the best teams for the best bowl games. This year Ohio State, Oregon, and Notre Dame finished fourth, fifth, and sixth respectively. Naturally, the BCS bypassed the fifth ranked team for the sixth ranked team because Notre Dame was "contractually guaranteed" a spot and would make the bowl more money. Thank goodness for favorable contracts. It doesn't matter though, because even if Notre Dame was ranked seventh or eighth they would have been in. To add insult to prejudice, Notre Dame gets to keep the $14 million BCS money for itself. Ohio State (and Oregon had they not been robbed) has to share the money with all the other teams in their conference. No wonder Charlie Weis doesn't push for a playoff system. Don't worry though, all will be fixed next year with the BCS changes. Next year when Notre Dame is handed an undeserved BCS game, they will only be able to keep $4.5 million for themselves, the same as other BCS participants. Sounds fair right? Oh, I forget to mention that they agreed to this because the new contract also states that if they don't get into a BCS game (most likely because they are ranked 20 or lower) they still get an automatic $1.5 million. Just to appease the masses...and I guess an offering to the Pope. Thank you Lord.

Honorable Mention

Regis Philbin. It's only natural that one of the most annoying men on the planet is a Notre Dame fan. I'm sure he roots for the Yankees too.

I’m Irish. Rooting for Notre Dame because you're Irish is like rooting for USC because you use Trojan brand condoms. It just doesn't make sense. None of the football players are Irish so it's a weak excuse. Just because your name is O'Neal or Sullivan doesn’t mean that you are Irish...have you ever even been to Ireland? I rest my case.

1996 Bowl Declination. Already having enough examples of Notre Dame arrogance, this one didn't make the cut but is still worth mentioning. At the end of a mediocre 8-3 season, this proud program was not eligible for one of the top 4 Alliance Bowls (major bowls prior to the BCS system). Notre Dame was invited to several other bowls but declined, implying that they don't stoop to the level of second-tier bowls. That same year, Wyoming finished with one of the best seasons ever, compiling a record of 10-2 and a national ranking of 22nd. They were not invited to any bowls. I'm sure that players from schools like Wyoming who dream of playing in any bowl game appreciated the conceit and self-importance of the Notre Dame team. Bravo.

MSNBC.COM. This NBC website has a major news section titled "Notre Dame Centra", once again assuming that the world cares.

102 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

After high school, Randy Moss was offered a football scholarship to Notre Dame. Moss was all set to join the Fighting Irish but after he got into a fight during the last month of high school, Notre Dame revoked the scholarship offer. Randy Moss eventually ended up playing college football at Marshall, where he tied an NCAA record by scoring 28 touchdowns and led the Marshall Thundering Herd to the NCAA Division I-AA title. While Moss loved playing football, he didn't really like the academics of college. He left Marshall after two years and was drafted in the first round of the 1998 NFL draft
Randy Moss
by the Minnesota Vikings.

2:41 PM  
Blogger Stumpy's Bear said...

Wow, I like that chart a lot, but some of the things on there hit a little too close to home.

i.e
"Discount the loss b/c the opposition are thugs,"
"Complain that academic standards are too harsh,"
and my personal favorite
"Talk incessantly about teams from the 1940's and 50's."

5:16 PM  
Anonymous Dr. Z said...

We all know that Randy Moss played for Marshall and the then the Vikings. The point was that Notre Dame recruits the same players as the FSUs of the college world. Moss went to FSU before he was kicked off the team and went to Marshall. I don't have the facts, but I would bet that Notre Dame revoked Moss's scholarship sometime around the same time he decided on FSU. Lou Holtz was quoted later in his career as saying that he wished he had been able to get Moss. What a gem.

2:07 AM  
Anonymous matthew said...

I was looking through some of the commitment lists and stumbled upon something very interesting.

In 2002, Ohio State barely beat out Notre Dame for a top running back prospect. His name was none other than Maurice Clarett.

1:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

idiot -

Moss was not accepted at Notre Dame. In fact, he never applied.

1966 - The national campionship was awarded BEFORE the bowl games in those day, you dope - And ND hadn't been to a bowl game in forty years at that time.

What planet are you from?

4:04 PM  
Anonymous CBiebel said...

Your comments about the ND-Army 0-0 tie are wrong. First of all ND beat Army 27-7 in 1947. If you're going to bash ND, at least get the facts right. The tie was in 1946.

After that game ND was not ranked #1. They stayed at #2 the entire season until the final game. In that game ND beat #16 USC 26-6. However, Army (the #1 team) barely got by Navy 21-18. ND had beaten Navy 28-0. That's what tipped the scales in ND's favor.

When it comes to looking at polls, it's often important to consider the context. Teams go up and down based on not only whether they win or lose, but how they win or lose and how other teams around them win or lose.

8:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know many specifics about the academic integrity of Georgia Tech's football program. I know that in general GT has a good academic reputation. The following is not an inditement of GT. It's a defense of ND:

Before you criticize ND's academic reputation, you should really investigate a little bit. There are no "joke" majors at ND. Finance is pretty much the easiest major available. There are no blow off classes. You won't find golf or AIDS awareness to help keep your eligability intact. You don't get academic credit for playing football. There isn't rampant grade changing for athletes, like the systems exposed at Tennessee and Auburn. Roughly 90% of ND players graduate in 4 years and on top of that they achieve a meaningful degree that will benefit them throughout life.

More schools in Division I college football should strive to be like Stanford, Duke, ND, Boston College, Vanderbilt, Northwestern and maybe GT too. Once again, I'm not very familiar with GT's academic integrity for its football team.

Hate ND all you want. I don't care. Call ND lousy, arrogant, whatever. Just realize that you are incorrect when you say that ND doesn't have academic standards for its football players that are a cut above the majority of other teams in Division I.

9:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said "You won't find golf or AIDS awareness to help keep your eligability intact."

Thats funny...a quote from the UND registrar; "All Notre Dame first-year students must take two semesters of physical education as a University requirement." One of the options is, of course PE 11013 - Golf. Or of course you could take SW 341 - Sexuality/Intimacy/Relationship. I found these courses in a 5 minute perusal of the course catalog. Imagine what I could do if I took the time to look at the whole thing. People hate ND because you think you are better people than everyone else. In fact you are some of the most naive, narrow-minded people on earth.

9:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, Notre Dame students are required to take 2 semesters of PE. But, you recieve NO credit for these courses, though they are required.

It's all part of making Notre Dame students into well-rounded people.

9:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My, my. The vitriol is out, isn't it?

Gnash your teeth all you want, but the fact remains that Notre Dame is at the apex of the college football world, and always has been.

And please, unless you wish to appear the fool, don't start with the 1966 National Championship. If you want to see some "questionable" National Championships, just ask those same Alabama fans who moan about 1966. Does anyone remember 1973?

Go ahead and hate away! Life goes on for the Irish. Good luck against Samford.

9:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

PE is a required course at ND for freshmen, but it is pass fail and it is in addition to the minimum 15 hours that each freshman takes.

There is no PE major and you do not have any PE classes that factor into your GPA. You cannot keep your eligibility up by getting an A in football strategy.

The 1946 Army team was full of players who had managed to avoid going to WWII for a few years. ND had players who were coming back from the war.

Moss was never accepted at ND. It never completed his application. It was too much of a bother. It is a good thing, bcause he would not have lasted long.

10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If a class is required, then wouldn't one need to take it to maintain eligibility? Your arguing of the point strengthens the notion that you are all naive and narrow-minded.

10:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought GT fans could relate to the Irish regarding the inequity in college football. Instead you call us arrogant. I doubt your rivals at UGA have to carry the same class-load that GT student-athletes have to carry. I thought a school with a good academic reputation like GT would prefer to take shots at the Tennessees and Auburns of the world, not Notre Dame. If arrogant means demanding that student-athletes take difficult classes and graduate on time, then I'll wear that label as a badge of honor.

4:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I played football with Jeff Samardzija in high school.. the kid to this day shall be named a douchebag and any other explicative I can think of.. he almost cost our high school to loose a sectional game cause he was to freakin high to know his right hand from his left hand...

not to mention the summer of his senior year going into Notre Dame.. he was "arrested" for running from the cops and still let into the program.. what a winner there..

and to harp on him one more time.. he compared himself to the likes of Bo Jackson during a press conference with the Cubs.. A)you don't have the talent Bo has (yes I say has cause I guarntee Bo would put Jeff in his place) and B)Bo knows best.. need I remind everyone of Bo truckin Brian Bosworth.. I haven't seen Samardzija truck anyone at all

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Love the Catholic bashing by the Southern Bible Belters. Speaking of narrow minded . . .

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a recent ND graduate, just graduated 3 months ago, I want to set things straight for the subway fans and haters alike. Randy Moss never finished the application to Notre Dame, he was a prospect but never took the time to write an essay. I should know because I am from Charleston, WV. 20 mins from Moss' high school and we had mutual friends. To set things straight for athletes and academic integrity. Athletes do not take the PE course because they have practice/exercise everyday they are required to take two semesters of a health course called Contemporary Topics which deals with overall health and life on a college campus, all ND students are required to take this course. Athletes do get better scheduling times to get their classes but this is because they need to schedule their classes around their sports practices. There is a joke that easy classes are called athlete classes but I dont know one easy course at Notre Dame, some work must be involved. In addition, ND doesnt offer a joke major like communication like you see from almost every football team. Athletes do get special treatment but that is the case at every school. They are there to make money for your school. Scholarships are like salaries for their job as a student-athlete.

8:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Seems like a busted argument to me. Moss and Booker were wanted yes. But if they couldnt cut it academically, they wouldn't have made the team. Julius Jones was Notre Dame's best player a few years ago. He was cut because he wasn't going to class. While ND players get free tutoring assistance, they are enrolled in normal classes just like the rest of the students. As for the litany of ND players that were listed, if i recall correctly, they all graduated college. The near perfect graduation rate for ND football players is undeniable as an indication of higher academic standards. I understand how it may look to an outsider and i can respect dislike for Notre Dame. But ND is different because of several factors both earned and unearned. There's no need to bash on academics because it is legitimate.

2:31 PM  
Anonymous DAN Da MAN said...

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Liverpudlian before the tycoon will go to Xibulang to assume office to ever purchased numerous commodities from abnormal channel for king
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This year in April, liverpudlian club announces suddenly, peace of they and division Morley parts company. Media thinks generally, kemoli is to be predecessor advocate handsome Dagelishen carried black boiler on the back. Fragrance power the group is bought Liverpudlian hind, kemoli assumed office in November 2010, the execution that main and responsible player buys works. Who buying is episcopal practice said to calculate, kemoli should be in charge of the player average that the bishop Lian Qin burns.
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Although Kemoli is in early this year in April by Liverpudlian recalled a job, but the relation of he and Red Army was not cast aside clear thoroughly. This Zhou San, on hearing of an obtain employment, both sides parts company finally cost reachs consensus, kemoli became free person just now. Begin from now, he is OK and free the home below arrange with.
Publish Saturday originally " daily Post " point out, division Morley hopeful again the mount guard, football inspector general that becomes weak force Xi Bulang. Xi Bulang currently holds the post ofred of sports chief inspector - Ashenwosai be about to preferment arrivesFlower sufficient alwaysAssume office, searched successor to become Xibulang's urgent matter for Ashenwosai. PredecessorQieerxiPresiding ball explore plum - the Kemoli that Kanggedu and be unemployed are in the home is two big popular await anthology. Nevertheless, the choice after Kanggedu passes a consideration stays inHamburger. Did not have the biggest competitor, kemoli pulls hand Xi Bulang to be valued generally by media.
It is Kemoli of 40 years old to ever had made visit of coach, ball, in club management the layer holds the position of important post utmost to produce his specialty. Kemoli ever was inMonaco, Shengaidian, Asenna, Heat up thornAnd Liverpudlian hold a post, accumulated rich experience. Kemoli can tell a fluent English, SpainLanguage and French, this also adds cent for his job many.

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